Gratitude can land you a job
If you’re on the job hunt and lucky enough to be landing interviews, this post is for you.
Yes, I absolutely suggest running through practice questions, thinking about what you want to say, and preparing for how to talk about thorny subjects like pay expectations or resumé gaps.
In addition to that, I have a very simple tip that can transform a job interview (or a date, or a podcast appearance, or any conversation, really).
Gratitude is a surprisingly easy thing to shift into. And it can transform the way you speak.
Each day, think of 3 things you’re grateful for. You can do this with a friend over text, say it to a partner in bed, or take a break during the day to speak your gratitude internally. But do it every day, especially when you have important conversations on the horizon.
I have had two clients recently try this and both said it made an enormous difference.
I noticed that both of them tended to skew negative while speaking. An interviewer would ask about about their experience or knowledge base, and they spoke about the limitations in these areas before actually answering the questions. “I don’t know much about this subject, but…” They spoke an entire initial clause that they could have deleted entirely. And these are two people who really do have a deep level of experience and knowledge.
Both found that making gratitude lists helped them skew positive.
One said engaging with gratitude made him have more fun in the interviews, because they had a running start of what was good about the situation.
The other client told me that every day he kept listing the community in his PhD program on his gratitude list. The very next job interview, when asked a question about leadership, instead of saying what the old version of him might have said: “I haven’t had a lot of experience leading a team directly, but…” instead he was able to sincerely say that part of his hope as a future leader in tech would be to facilitate that kind of community, even outside of a university setting. He tapped into something he truly cared about and then could authentically share that, even in the high stakes situation.
Win win win.
Video on this subject here.
Reminder that you can always book a free 20 minute coaching session with me here.
xox
Practice Being Perfectly Imperfect
A back-and-forth about being real.
Yesterday on LinkedIn I described the discomfort I felt listening to people give memorized talks. That I want people to sound like they're talking to us-- like they're talking to their friends. Less polish, more you.
A stranger asked: "How do you guide individuals to confidently 'brunch-ify' their delivery while maintaining the core message and impact?"
Great question, stranger!
My reply:
Looove this question. I focus on making people feel both calm and confident, like you do naturally w your friends.
Calm: breathwork, meditation, mantras, silly pre performance exercises to remind you it’s not that big a deal, singing, humming— get your nervous system relaxed (so many techniques so we practice a bunch and see what feels best)
Confident: practice speaking on the fly with random subjects like bananas, practice telling me about what you do and who you are, in various ways, practice speaking dynamically like you do when you’re enthusiastic and passionate, practice the actual thing you’ll be speaking about in a pitch, presentation, panel, toast, roast, story— so you know what you want to say, but you’re saying it differently every time— you’re saying it the way it needs to be said in that very moment with that particular audience.
Keep the core message, but say it in a real way. Trust yourself. It works! And once people have practiced being themselves and sharing themselves, they feel more confident in all aspects of their lives. And have more fun. And people like hearing them speak. It’s charisma school :).
Thank you for asking!
P.S. Pic of me as a kid doing embroidery for the first time. Imperfectly perfect.
Making You Sing
Do you remember the scene in Harold & Maude when Harold sings for the first time in his life, prompted by Maude’s enthusiasm?
That’s what public speaking coaching feels like to me.
I’m seeing people feel like themselves and be free, sometimes for the first time in their lives.
I’m watching people get past blocks and defense mechanisms to speak naturally and comfortably.
I’m witnessing people feel like kids again, all while bringing them leaps and bounds further in their professional capacity.
It’s really beautiful to see.
I love meeting other public speaking coaches. There’s so much enthusiasm and passion for the work because it is actually possible to help people express themselves more freely, in their particular way. And when you see the glimmer of that and then an even fuller expression of it, it feels incredible. And I know it feels incredible to live it.
We’ve all had moments of being weird! But the right speaking coach can bring you back to yourself, which helps with everything— work, love, interacting with family, friends, baristas. And it can happen fast.
Hire yourself a public speaking coach, or date a sprightly eighty-year-old woman. Either way, live your life.
“Harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You can’t let the world judge you too much.”
Sending love!
“Shall we have a song?”
“I don’t sing.”
“Oh come on, I’ll show ya!”