Practice Being Perfectly Imperfect
A back-and-forth about being real.
Yesterday on LinkedIn I described the discomfort I felt listening to people give memorized talks. That I want people to sound like they're talking to us-- like they're talking to their friends. Less polish, more you.
A stranger asked: "How do you guide individuals to confidently 'brunch-ify' their delivery while maintaining the core message and impact?"
Great question, stranger!
My reply:
Looove this question. I focus on making people feel both calm and confident, like you do naturally w your friends.
Calm: breathwork, meditation, mantras, silly pre performance exercises to remind you it’s not that big a deal, singing, humming— get your nervous system relaxed (so many techniques so we practice a bunch and see what feels best)
Confident: practice speaking on the fly with random subjects like bananas, practice telling me about what you do and who you are, in various ways, practice speaking dynamically like you do when you’re enthusiastic and passionate, practice the actual thing you’ll be speaking about in a pitch, presentation, panel, toast, roast, story— so you know what you want to say, but you’re saying it differently every time— you’re saying it the way it needs to be said in that very moment with that particular audience.
Keep the core message, but say it in a real way. Trust yourself. It works! And once people have practiced being themselves and sharing themselves, they feel more confident in all aspects of their lives. And have more fun. And people like hearing them speak. It’s charisma school :).
Thank you for asking!
P.S. Pic of me as a kid doing embroidery for the first time. Imperfectly perfect.
Making You Sing
Do you remember the scene in Harold & Maude when Harold sings for the first time in his life, prompted by Maude’s enthusiasm?
That’s what public speaking coaching feels like to me.
I’m seeing people feel like themselves and be free, sometimes for the first time in their lives.
I’m watching people get past blocks and defense mechanisms to speak naturally and comfortably.
I’m witnessing people feel like kids again, all while bringing them leaps and bounds further in their professional capacity.
It’s really beautiful to see.
I love meeting other public speaking coaches. There’s so much enthusiasm and passion for the work because it is actually possible to help people express themselves more freely, in their particular way. And when you see the glimmer of that and then an even fuller expression of it, it feels incredible. And I know it feels incredible to live it.
We’ve all had moments of being weird! But the right speaking coach can bring you back to yourself, which helps with everything— work, love, interacting with family, friends, baristas. And it can happen fast.
Hire yourself a public speaking coach, or date a sprightly eighty-year-old woman. Either way, live your life.
“Harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You can’t let the world judge you too much.”
Sending love!
“Shall we have a song?”
“I don’t sing.”
“Oh come on, I’ll show ya!”